


Bugs and Daffy's Anime Tonight

by Chomakaimura



Series: Assorted Cartoon Network City Stories [3]
Category: Azumanga Daioh, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, What a Cartoon! (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Cartoon Network City, Crossover, Gen, Light Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26626468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chomakaimura/pseuds/Chomakaimura
Summary: In an attempt to quell petty conflicts between anime fans and Western animation fans, a late-night anime block on the Cartoon Network, hosted by a couple of Looney Tunes characters, is greenlit. Each week, Bugs and Daffy interviews one or more anime characters. Of course, when weird bounces off of weird, who knows what will happen on a given show?
Series: Assorted Cartoon Network City Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893436
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	Bugs and Daffy's Anime Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> My endless desire to see the alternate dimension where anime assimilated a bit better into Cartoon Network's lineup is truly projected here. Previously, I stuck to programs that historically aired on the channel, but now, I figure not many people read these fics and would care about accuracy. Take it as an alternate universe. As if it wasn't already assumed by Heero Yuy and Bugs Bunny interacting.

**July 12th, 2005**

_9:51am, Ghost Planet Industries_

Space Ghost was sitting across from Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, divided only by a large desk, with Tad’s arms, a computer monitor, and some assorted supplies perched upon it. The two _Looney Tunes_ stars felt somewhat small sitting in those office chairs, despite the fact that they’d been around much longer than Space Ghost. After all, he was basically the Network’s first true mascot - how could they compete with that? On top of that, there was a permeating feeling of their jobs being affected if they were being called in.

“So, Bugs...” Tad started.

“Y-...yes?”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been an advocate for Japanese productions on the network.”

“Really? I never noticed.” said Daffy.

“Daff, I was the one who got the rights to _Robot Carnival_. The reason Adult Swim airs anime at midnight on Sundays is ‘cuz of ‘dat ting.”

“Hmph! I was stuck doing training for the newbies. All that work trying to make Moxy worth a damn for nothing! And what were **you** doing when I was subjecting myself?”

“Foist of all, I kept telling you that you should’ve waited until Hanna-Barbera started going with their new characters. Second of all, to segue, I was bustin’ my butt resoiching potential anime to dub and air on the Netwoik! **And** trying to convince the execs it was a good idea.”

“Was it worth it, Bugs?”

“Well, I couldn’t get the rights to _J-Decker_ or _Patlabor_ , but I think adding the United States to Akira Toriyama’s growin’ list of conquered territories makes it a net positive.”

Daffy’s beak dropped and his eyes grew in surprise. Wow. That wabbit was dedicated.

“Clearly,” started Space Ghost, “Bugs has been in the business for a long time. Some may not know it, but he’s a certified weeaboo.”

“Hold it, doc. Weeaboos are people that are only ever in the realm of anime ‘n’ manga. Sure, I’m one for a good Ito or Togashi-”

“C’mon, only a **weeb** could convince DC Comics to pick up the rights to _Cipher_.” Tad interjected.

“That music video collection with the Rang twins had a comic?!” Daffy exclaimed.

“Comic came first, Daff.”

“See what I mean, Bugsy?” Space Ghost assured.

“Okay, but I don’t limit myself exclusively to one country when it comes to dese tings!”

“Aha! That’s the ticket. You see, the network execs have been thinking of a little idea in secret. Something to fill up the void after _Fridays_.”

Space Ghost stood up and walked up to the wall to his left, pulling a clicker out of the liminal space in between his pecs and pushing a button to bring a projector screen down. “Scooch over, boys. I have a little presentation to show you.”

Once Bugs and Daffy were in place, Tad pressed the button again to bring an image onto the screen.

“As you can see, people who like modern Japanese cartoons and people who like golden age American cartoons are hardly a Venn diagram.” he stated pointing at two circles that were only slightly intersecting.

“Hey, if you squint, you can see Jerry Beck’s name in the tiny space between the circles!” Daffy saw.

“Indeed.” Space Ghost clicked the button to a very long, hardly-readable forum post. “It is a conversation that has devolved into chaos. Anime fans have been tricked by distributors, pushing the ultra-violent direct-to-video works such as _Genocyber_ , into thinking that anything to do with the Cartoon Network and competing networks - besides our offerings on Toonami - are lame.” 

“They’re right! There’s not enough of **me** in _Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi!_ This isn’t fair.” Daffy complained while crossing his arms and slumping his neck with a scowl.

”Meanwhile, fans of American animation are unaware that distributors can only translate so much of anything being made in Japan, and think that everything **on** Toonami is an accurate representation of the entire industry. It has gotten to the point of xenophobia.”

“Have you been reading my forum activity?” Bugs asked. “I mean, it’s all public, but...”

“Just so happens I browse cartoon-oriented forums myself. I like seeing how grown men of fandom complain about how low-budget Adult Swim is. I digress, you’re a very accepting man - er, rabbit. Hence, I propose a new late-night block that is in the weird dimension between appropriate for Cartoon Network, but too childish for Adult Swim!”

The next slide read **Bugs and Daffy’s Anime Tonight**.

“...Why, Tad! I’m flattered!”

“I get to be in it too?!” Daffy excitedly jumped at the thought.

“You two are an unbreakable dynamic duo, even if _Back in Action_ bombed horribly and made Warner Bros lose faith in you!”

“I didn’t get into the realty business on my own decision.”

“Your intuition for job decisions never fails to amuse me.” Bugs bemused while checking his hand.

“Wait a minute, if I run a house-selling business, and you run a detective business, how are we going to do this thing?!”

“Well, this is an 11pm to 1am thing on Friday night, so you guys would be closed by then, right?”

“Absolutely!” assured Bugs. “Woist case scenario, I’ll leave an inquiry box at the Greasy Grill, and I’ll have my cell on standby...it’s not like anything woise than car theft or property damage happens in this city, and ‘dat’s not my forte, anyway.”

“Yeah, I’ll just have Ace Goodheart cover for me. It’s not like he’ll find a job anywhere else.”

“So, what do we do, Tad?”

“It’s simple! You present the shows to the audience through small bumpers, but you’ll also be interviewing a relevant anime star each week. By doing so, you’re bridging the realms of Japanese and American animation.”

“Isn’t that your job?” Daffy inquired.

“Right, but you interview cartoon stars. I interview people on the non-toon side of things. I’m slated to interview video game superstar Todd Howard at next year’s E3!”

“That’s great! So, uh, what are we airing?” asked Bugs.

“We haven’t gotten a full schedule just yet. We’ll let you both know in time.”

“It’s been a pleasure being able to be in something, Mr. Ghostal!” Daffy bluntly remarked.

“I’ll call you when everything’s ready! We’ll be filming at headquarters.”

“Alright, see ya later, doc!”

Beat.

“So how do we get off Ghost Planet?” Daffy asked.

“You tell me, Dodgers.” Tad retorted.

Beat.

“I’ll call a space taxi.”

“Aren’t those prohibitively expensive?” Bugs worriedly wondered.

“It’s fine. I have about 7 Earth’s oil supplies on my credit card.”

Another pang of silence rang through the air.

“Of course, no Earth establishment takes my bank. My Earth card has about $56.89 on it.”

* * *

**August 5th, 2005**

_9:59pm, Greasy Grill Cartoon Confectionary_

“Here’s your carrot ‘n’ beef burrito, Mr. Rabbit.” Usagi Tsukino handed over the unusual handheld food, wrapped halfway in aluminum foil, to Bugs Bunny, now in casual wear as opposed to his detective’s suit.

“Tanks, Usagi. You know what to do when someone comes in needing a request.”

Usagi deployed a thumbs up and a confident face. “I’ll leave any notes in your mailbox!”

“But don’t worry about it too much. I don’t get too much work through a given week anyway.”

“That reminds me, I wonder what’s taking Yuckie so long with the coffee.”

Yuckie Duck walked out from the kitchen holding an unruly plant.

“I **might** have accidentally acquired an extraterrestrial entity instead of a coffee bean plant. It keeps ejecting what looks like coffee beans out of its various crevices and I’m scared it might harm us all!” Yuckie blurted out with a panicked grin while sweating.

Various of the beans began exploding like pop rocks and harming Yuckie in particular, causing yelps of pain as he ran back into the kitchen to settle the issue.

“Nyehh, I’m in a bit of a hurry. I’ll just stop by Bulma’s Capsule Store.”

“Should I refund your coffee?”

“Keep the change. I’ve got enough as-is. Have a good night!”

“Break a leg, Mr. Rabbit!”

“ **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH** ” a shrill scream emitted from the kitchen.

* * *

_10:41pm, “Screwy Ain’t It?” Building_

“Hmmm...”

“What’s wrong, Daff?”

“Isn’t it weird how we weren’t told about the schedule until the first day of air?”

“I find it weirder that you haven’t seen any of the promos we’ve filmed for this block?”

“All we did was say hello to the camera! I have to assume the rest of it was b-roll footage!”

“You’re right. And I assume realty didn’t give you time to watch TV.”

“Bugsy, I know I can come off as a slacker, but Harvey Birdman’s house finally kicked the bucket and finding a neighborhood that’ll take him after the incident a month ago is a Herculean task.”

“Lucky for you, I have a card with the schedule right here.” Bugs pulled the card out of his shirt pocket and handed it over to Daffy, who calmly took it off the rabbit.

**Bugs and Daffy’s Anime Tonight** **on Cartoon Network**

**Every Friday at 11**

**_11pm: Azumanga Daioh_ **

**_11:30pm: Cromartie High School_ **

**_11:45pm: Extended Interview Segment_ **

**_12am Sat: Dirty Pair_ **

**_12:30am Sat: Pumpkin Wine_ **

“What kind of anime is Extended Interview Segment?” Daffy asked with the card down.

“No, ya silly duck.” Bugs playfully mocked. “ _Cromartie High_ is only 11 minutes, so to stretch it out to the half-year, they’re giving the rest of the hour for us to do an interview.”

“Do we know who’s on for this week?”

“They’ll be coming in just a moment. They’re our premier program, after all.”

“Wait, “they” as in a non-binary anime protagonist, or “they” as in…” Daffy gulped. “...more than one person?”

“Latter, but that ain’t a bad idea, Daff!”

“Uh-oh.”

A stock yodel sound could be heard bellowing, somehow, as a shopping cart filled with high-school girls crashed through the studio doors. Well, two high-school girls and a small red-headed child. No way she could go to the same school as the older ones, right?

“Awright, cool entrance achieved!” the girl with spiky-ended hair yelled.

“The cart was flyyyyin’.” the ditzy-looking girl with a bob cut said.

Meanwhile, the red-headed, pig-tailed child was shaking in her boots. Sneakers, if you will.

“Hey, Bugs! The others should be coming soon! They’ve just gotta try the late-night grub here.” the rowdy one assured.

“Hehe, we jus’ settled for the Greasy Grill and weaned a shoppin’ cart of ‘a’ Malph’s...”

The smallest girl simply pouted. “I’m never doing something like this ever again...”

“C’mon, Chiyo-chan! It wasn’t that bad!”

“Was so!”

If it wasn’t clear enough, the special guests for tonight were the main cast of _Azumanga Daioh_. The coveted slice-of-life show that had been making the rounds on the internet for the past few years, and wouldn’t be stopping any time soon. The girls currently in the room were the loud Tomo, the space-headed Osaka, and child prodigy slapstick victim Chiyo.

“Gotta be a really fast shopping cart if you got in and out of Greasy Grill while I was comin’ here.” Bugs commented.

“Bugs, I just want you to know that this is going to be a really chaotic interview if those are just **part** of the guest pool tonight.”

“That’s the fun, Daff.”

* * *

_10:54pm, “Screwy Ain’t It” Cafeteria_

“Man, who’d think spicy buffalo wings would actually taste _good_. Surprised at this food quality.” Yomi complimented.

The rest of the _Azumanga_ cast, Yomi, Kagura, Kaorin, Sakaki, Nyamo and Ms. Yukari were seated at the same table. The night’s repeat of the _Fridays_ block’s _Camp Lazlo_ was just finishing up as they were finishing their meal, as seen on the wall corner’s TV.

“Hmph! Simple children with their Dr. Pepper and chicken wings! Clearly, the pleasures of high-quality beef are lost on you all.” Ms. Yukari boasted.

“You’re eating a bacon cheeseburger with a root beer.” Kagura responded.

“And it’s the best damn bacon cheeseburger I’ve ever had! And you’d bet your ass I’d be chugging down regular beer if you were all over 21!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Yukari,” Nyamo bragged. “I got a niiiice apple cider here with no issues whatsoever.” She was a bit tipsy, indeed.

“So I wanted to try root beer, sue me!”

“Hey… I think we should pack it up and head for the studio soon.” Sakaki quietly interrupted.

All of them looked towards the TV. _Camp Lazlo_ was ending, and the promo for _Bugs and Daffy’s Anime Tonight_ was on.

“Every Friday at 11pm, Bugs and Daffy are bringing you the anime that TOM just won’t allow.”

“I think I could beat Goku if I really wanted to.” Daffy’s trailer line blurted for the millionth time for various children and young adults. Bugs’ trailer line was facepalming.

“Tonight, the cast of our all-new toon, _Azumanga Daioh_ , will be in a game of duck season, wabbit season! They’ll be premiering at 11 and interviewed at 11:45!”

“Gah! That’s in 4 minutes!” Kaorin panicked.

“Alright, calm down.” Yomi said. “Could we get some boxes, please?!” she requested from the three-dimensional waitress.

“At 11:30 is another brand-new show, _Cromartie High School_. Then we’re going retro with _Dirty Pair_ and _Pumpkin Wine_ at midnight! Everything you know about anime is getting turned upside down!” the announcer blurted out as the clip from _Rabbit Rampage_ where Bugs falls from the upside-down rabbit hole plays.

With all their to-go food in order, they made haste and made a dash to the nearest elevator to make it just in time for that week’s show.

“ _Bugs and Daffy’s Anime Tonight!_ Next.”

The three-dimensional waitress began to wipe the table. “I bet if I finally take off this rubber suit, I could make it big in this toon industry. Somethin’ to think about.” she muttered to herself.

“This is Cartoon Network.”

**Author's Note:**

> I actually checked to see if I could find a schedule for August 5, 2005, a random Friday I chose. The bumpers for that night's Fridays block just so happened to be online, posted less than two months ago. It's a good omen, I assume. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnNwteO-LgU)
> 
> No, these aren't being posted regularly, let alone weekly. This will be an on-going thing I update when I get sparks of inspiration, think of it as a side-story. Not that you really need to read these in order.


End file.
